Drinking Buddies
by Cyprith
Summary: Patchwork likes having a drinking buddy again. Even if he is a smoothskin. Slash. Ted Strayer/Patchwork. Underworld drunk/Rivet City jet-head


Drinking Buddies

Because it would never, ever happen

But is so totally plausible.

Patches doesn't remember a whole lot about Life Before. All the other folks around here are always yammering on about Life Before the War or Life Before the Bombs or _something_. Which doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense in his opinion—when he has an opinion—because crying about lost fingers isn't going to change nothing. You've just gotta get down there and _look _for 'em. Or else you've got to go… go get a drink or something.

He can't really remember. And anyway, if there's one thing Patches hates, it's a hangover. He had one once and ever since then he'd made sure he was _never _sober enough for that exercise in misery to happen ever, _ever_ again. Though now the little twinges he gets when he runs out of caps aren't as bad. Not since Teddy started hanging around—good ol' Teddy Strayer…

But that Life Before shit—there's only one thing Patches misses about it and that's having somebody to _drink_ with. That used to be the best part of drinking. Having someone you could look at after a few dozen beers and think _at least I'm not __**that**__ asshole. _And he's tried it on some of the smoothskins that come down, but it doesn't matter how drunk he gets, they're still a damn sight prettier than he'll ever be and he's not that great of a liar. Used to be. Used to be he could get people to do whatever he wanted… course he used to be all _suit-ish_ like that damn cheap Crowley bastard and…

And Winthrop is probably down by the generators, now that he really thinks about it. Of course, he's not sure it matters since that last smoothie got eaten by something. Then again, he likes the new smoothie a hell of a lot better. They're not drinking buddies. Teddy's not… not into that kind of thing, he says. But he's into jet. Which a lot like gin only a lot less wet and Teddy doesn't mind sharing.

That's one of the things he likes best about Teddy. Good ol' Teddy Strayer doesn't mind sharing _nothing_. And Patches doesn't really like to take the first puff of jet which is just _fine_ by Teddy. Real nice guy, that Teddy Strayer. Always takes the first puff and sort of breathes it into Patches' torn up lungs all nice and easy. Which usually leads to something like kissing but it isn't really kissing 'cause Patches tends to see more than one of people at a time and Teddy finds that pretty goddamn funny when he's high so their aim isn't what you'd call good. Not like that Charon guy.

Patches isn't really sure if he likes that Charon guy, come to think of it. He's all the time _escorting our patchwork friend here out the door_ but he's always real careful not to misplace any of Patches' pieces which kinda makes him okay. Charon's never bought him a goddamn drink, but then he's not sure Azhrukhal pays him and maybe he would if… if he had the money.

Oh, if Patches had money, life would be fan-fucking-tastic, that's for damn sure. And Teddy wouldn't have to worry about using up all the caps his rich daddy left him. Apparently jet for two—even with sorta-not-kissing—is more expensive than jet for one and every now and then he gets an itch for psycho. Psycho—psycho doesn't come cheap. But Patches likes psycho. Not that he does it! No, hell no. Barrows sticks enough needles in his skin as it fucking is, he doesn't need to go doing it himself. That'd be like… like asking for a lecture or something and Patches _really_ hates it when Barrows gives him the Lecture. It's not his fault people think it's funny when his bits come off. And… and oh yeah… psycho.

He doesn't do psycho. But he likes it when good ol' Teddy Strayer does it because then he gets all cuddly and nice and they find a quiet corner somewhere—usually out by all the ferals, 'cause they don't bother Teddy—and _go at it like rabbits_. That's what Patches calls it anyway. And it makes Teddy laugh but he doesn't get it. He's never seen a rabbit, but he calls Patches _his rabbit_ after a few sorta-not-kisses that turn into maybe-real-kisses which is A-OK by Patches. He has his beer when he can get it and gin when he can sneak up behind the bar—which he's getting pretty good at since the jet—and he really fucking likes having a drinking buddy again. Even if he is a goddamned pretty boy smoothskin who doesn't _drink _like a normal goddamn member of society. He's pretty okay in Patches' book…

Tulip mentioned something about books. Swear to god, that girl freaks him right the fuck out…


End file.
